Why adequate is awesome!
Kelly Banks is the Co-founder of Support Crew, along with her good buddy Janine Williams.
Kelly explores how when we are supporting someone we love who’s going through a difficult time we can become unnecessarily paralysed by the fear of doing the wrong thing.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to support someone going through a difficult time, but somehow turned yourself into a frozen squirrel who’s paralysed by the fear of doing the wrong thing? Yip. We’ve all been there right?
But we forget that if what we can or want to do is nothing more than simply saying ‘I’m sorry” – then that’s a million times better than not saying or doing anything at all.
And if your offer to help with mowing the lawns isn’t accepted, then it’s better than turning away. Or if your offer is a trip to the moon in a rocket ship because you have time, energy and resources, not to mention the rocket ship, that’s better than turning away too.
So why do we get help paralysis?
The problem is we can often think that whatever is it that we’re offering to do for the person who’s dealing with a shitty time is going to totally take away their pain, then we’re more likely to shy away from it. We too easily feel the burden to make people’s lives instantly better, or go back to the way they were before, but the truth is nothing is going to do that.
Small gestures matter
But what does make a huge difference is small gestures (and big ones of course!) and if you’re struggling with the feeling that what you’re doing is inadequate – then remember this – it’s often the small things that you do that make the biggest difference.
Doing anything. Even the small things, is totally adequate. And adequate is pretty freaken awesome!
How to make small gestures (or big ones!)
We have a pretty cool feature on Support Crew that allows you to make an offer to help on a Support Page. That’s so that for example if you can’t help with the meals or childcare that’s been asked for on a Support Page, then you can make an offer to help with something that you can help with like mowing the lawns or dropping by for a social visit. If you want to make an offer to help, but are struggling with some ideas…don’t worry we’ve got you covered!
- Offer to donate paid leave to your colleague
- Offer to take your friend for coffee every Tuesday to get them out of the house
- Offer to research grants and funding options for your friend dealing with cancer
- Offer to fill up the car with petrol
- Offer to send hilarious YouTube videos each morning
Supporting someone going through a difficult time?
Support Crew is a FREE online support platform that easily co-ordinates meals, transport, cleaning and any other help that’s needed from friends and family. Essentially, it’s an online help roster. Create a Support Page for yourself or someone else at www.supportcrew.co
This blog has been modified by page 181 of the amazingly awesome book titled “There is no good card for this: what to say and do when life is scary, awful, and unfair to people you love” written by Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowel. Totally recommend it if you’re supporting someone going through something big.